


I Listen

by Snowbazzz_lyf



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: A little angst, And so does Simon, Baz loves Simon a lot., I am just very weak for them, M/M, Talking, Uh I think a lot of angst, You better be ready for a fucking grenade, a little fluff, a little surprise, lots of emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-09 21:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20124505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowbazzz_lyf/pseuds/Snowbazzz_lyf
Summary: Evenings are Simon's favourite part of the day because he talks and Baz listens.





	I Listen

**Author's Note:**

> I got the inspiration for this fic from the Cover of Wayward Son. My boyfriend pointed out something from it and I couldn't stop thinking about it. So here we are.
> 
> Btw, I am pretty proud of myself for writing this the way I did. I hope you guys like this!

Simon _loves_ evenings, I know he does. They are the favourite part of his day. They are my favourite too.

That's when he is finally free of his work, all his stress and general hubbub, and that's when he can come to me and sit as close to me as it is physically possible for him to. Usually, he remains quiet for a moment, like he is working up his words, thinking about what all he has to say, formulating them in a speech.

Then he starts talking. And when he starts talking, he doesn't stop and keeps on rambling and rambling about his work, his colleagues, what a murder the tube was, what he ate for lunch, if he saw something interesting, how his boss is getting on his nerves but he is still one hell of a man and he is not going to let her get him. It's like he is letting out everything that was stored in him, like he is a tap that you can't shut off, like how he poured all of his magic into the Humdrum. Except, it's not his magic that pours out of him, but his words, and it's not the Humdrum who is at the receiving end, it's just me, and Simon doesn't feel like everything is ending, he just feels so much better.

I always listen to him, never ever interrupting him, not once. I never say a single word, instead, I just listen to him talk like he has all the time in the world. But it's not like I am an unresponsive shit. I sometimes kiss his neck, the spot where he has a mole. I lay my head on his shoulders, liking how he feels so strong and so solid. But I don't think he ever notices, he just keeps on babbling.

Sometimes, when he is quite excited or has had a really good day, his voice becomes loud and enthusiastic, he is practically laughing then, and there is merry glint in his blue eyes, the eyes I am _still_ crazy about. In those moments, I love him more than anything or anyone I have ever known.

Sometimes, when he has had a particularly bad day, he just mumbles and his voice becomes low and soft and harsh at the same time. His eyes look dull. Those moments sort of crush me. I wrap my arms around his waist then, and just stay close to him, and I kiss his neck and face and whisper in his ear, _it will be alright. _He just keeps mumbling and nodding mindlessly.

Sometimes, I like to curl my fingers in his bronze hair, though looking at it now makes me sad. After we had started dating, I had told him that I liked it when he didn't shave his head, that I loved to curl my fingers in his hair and liked how it fell wildly in front of his forehead and all over the nape of his neck. He had then stopped shaving it and would keep nuzzling into me. I loved it. I loved to curl my fingers in his hair and let them stay there.

He has shaved them now, like the way he used to in Watford. I don't know why, but he has. Or maybe, I think I _know_ why, but it still makes me sad. I don't ever say anything about it, though. Simply because I know it's pointless.

Like I said, I really don't say anything much when he talks to me. There really is no point.

The part of the day Simon despises the most is when he has to leave me. I hate that part too, I never want him to leave, though I know he has to. I would gladly follow him, but I can't. I would follow him to the end of the world, if I could. 

But I can't. No matter what, I _can't_.

Whenever Simon is talking to me, he never cries, not even shedding a single tear, no matter how upset he is. But he always does when he has to leave, no matter how happy he was. He just cries like his heart is going to shatter.

When he is leaving, he gets up, dusts his jeans and leans down to kiss my tombstone. If he wants to delay his return more, he plays with the petals of the flowers he bought for me, and murmurs about how he liked those flowers and how pretty they look and how he thinks I would like them too. I do. I always do.

After that, he cries, tears spilling down his eyes, making his face wet with it, but he never attempts to wipe them away, though I always try to do that but my touch hardly does anything. I can never do anything to soothe him. That's what sucks the most about death: you can never comfort the ones you love the most, no matter how much you want to and you are the reason they are in so much pain but you can't do anything to make it better.

I _never_ wanted to leave. I never wanted to leave Simon. I wanted to be with him forever but I don't think there was much I could do in that situation. I don't think I would have been able to live if _Simon_ had died instead.

I am so glad that Simon carried on after my death. Even after everything, he did. He has friends, he sometimes hangs out with them, he watches movies, he laughs. He _lives_. If I had been at his place, I don't think I would have been able to do that. I would have had wasted away and that would have hurt Simon, hurt my family. But Simon lives, for himself and for everyone else.

I know his heart hurts whenever he thinks of me, but he carries on. He just squares his shoulders, juts out his chin, his eyes blaze, and his fists clench and he looks his arsehole of a life in the eye and says, _‘I dare you to get worse. I dare you to take me down.’_

Nothing can take down Simon Snow. He will just get up and fight till he emerges victorious. _My_ Simon is the bravest son of a bitch ever to live.

My Simon.

I love him.

I love him so much.

_My Simon._

**Author's Note:**

> Bet you bitches didn't see that coming.
> 
> Anyways, my boyfriend pointed out the halo Baz has in the cover. And like, we all noticed it, right? But he thinks it might be 'a subtle indication of Baz's probable death' and that has actually fucked me up pretty bad because Rainbow has been dropping constant hints and stuff and I am V E R Y freaked out.
> 
> So this was my take on what will happen IF Baz does die in Wayward Son, though I pray to God he doesn't because if that happens, then what am I gonna do with myself and my shattered heart?


End file.
